Rivera - The Hardest Thing

The next morning,waking up was the most difficult thing Marc Rivera ever had to do.

He lay in bed, eyes closed, willing himself to go back to sleep. He wasn't ready to start the day. Just a few more hours, please. He heard laughter coming from the next room. He thought it strange that there could possibly be laughter in the house this morning. Then he realized that it was canned laughter, the soundtrack of a cartoon.



That made sense. Charlie, the oldest child at the orphanage, would be watching cartoons, just like he did every morning before-

Before It. Marc couldn't bear to think the words "she died". To say it out loud meant that it was real, and he just wasn't quite ready for that.

Through the cartoon laughter and slapstick sounds, a childish wail pierced the air. It was time to feed little William. Marc pulled himself out of bed and brought Will to the kitchen, placing him in the highchair.

Charlie came into the room, still in his pajamas. "Marc?" he asked, voice very soft.

"What, Charlie?" Marc said. He knew that he should be more gentle with the little boy, but he couldn't think past the gaping hole in his chest.


"Today is Lupe's funeral, right? You should go get dressed." Marc didn't want to hear that. He didn't want to think that little Charlie was stepping up, taking care of him. "I'll make sure Will doesn't choke."

-----

"I have never in my life met someone so loving or generous as Lupe Rivera. She opened her home to any children that needed her, and her heart to the world." Claire Abbott paused to wipe tears from her eyes as she gave the speech. "Our lives and our town won't be the same without her."

Marc expected to cry during this service, but he didn't. He felt a physical ache in his chest, but everywhere else felt numb, like static. He put a hand on her tombstone and said, "Te quiero, Lupe."

"If you need anything, just let us know," everyone had said. He'd lost count of how often he had heard that in the last few days.

He wanted to tell everyone, "What I need is a stiff drink."